There are a lot of ways to think about what is good and what is not good. This question has been of interest to humans for a long time. In an effort to simplify the considerations, we should at least perform a time based separation. We should consider the question of “What is good” at different times in the life of an autonomous agent.

In the picture we have illustrated the flow of time with three instants in time highlighted by round dots. T1 represents a time at which we have the leisure of analyzing what might happen, and correspondingly producing a good agent to make decisions. T3 is a time after decision was made by the agent. At this time more observation of our physical world has become available to us. The consequent benefits or injury caused by said decision. 

Let’s first look at time T2. At this moment, the subject of our discussion, an automated agent, enhanced by GCI and other tech, has to make a decision. It does not matter if the decision making is a discrete process that produces decisions at intervals or if it is a continuous process producing a decision at every instant in time. All that matters is that at this moment in time, there is some set of observations and some memories and states the agent retained from time that has past. The decision being made is entirely a function of these two inputs. (Lets model a true RNG as part of observation–we observe a bit from an external source of entropy). This type of abstraction is very useful for programming as well as simplify a vast universe of possibilities so that we may perform informative mathematical analysis.

At time T1, we may choose one of many approaches to implement the agent. The agent may consider a snapshot observation at T2 or some aggregated information in time between T1 and T2. We may, for example, simulate all possible outcomes, and try to device an agent that can make the decision that work the best on average. Other metrics and objectives such as minimax may be used.(In multiagent extension, one may also consider using the QIM) We may for another example consider the regrets we may feel at T3 and focus on minimizing that consequence while making the agent (This is to say that at T3 we consider, additionally, all that might be observed to happen after T1). The one stipulation here is that at T1 we have to firstly specify what the observations and memories and states are. Without confining ourselves to these boundaries we cannot make an agent and consider its goodness. In reality, the function computation is not instantaneous, and for practical implementation purposes, we also stipulate bounded time in addition to bounded power of observation and GCI-mental capacity.

By isolating these three instants in time, we can clearly see that there is no question of good or bad for the action of the agent as it has no autonomy. The agent does not bear the weight of responsibility for acting well. For even its programming is decided non-autonomously ahead of time at T1. At T1, the entity responsible for the agent’s goodness may be forced to place itself within the restrictions of the agent (observations and GCI-mind) In a supervised setting the responsible entity may provide supervision by answering the question “What is the good decision in this situation at T2,” or “How do I make a good decision known these things at T2.” Semi-supervised setting may ask “What other decision is this decision like?”. Ultimately the responsible entity, to be good themselves, must do his best to ensure the agent makes the best best possible decision at T2.

The impact of that decision will be felt at T3. At all T3’s, nothing can be done about what happened at T1 and T2. All that remains is to celebrate our gains and morn our losses.

The conclusion seems to be that GCI is not about bad machines. The analysis of algorithmic bias, the concerns for all kinds of bias in the training data, all of these efforts people are putting in to making GCI is not about GCI itself. It is really about the GCI scientists, engineers, users and policy makers. We’re really talking about how we can be ourselves better at T1. Every complaint that GCI will be so terrible, maybe even end the world, they are complaints about ourselves at T1, that we have not made sufficient efforts or progress for everyone to feel good about T2 and T3. For me, personally, I think we should continue to better ourselves. WDYT?

Affirmative Action, Again, is not fundamentally wrong. Every person is different, everyone benefit from different things. Even basic needs like medicine and education can be very different from one person to the next. As we advance our understanding of ourselves and advance our technologies, it seems the only path forward is towards more individualized care and individualized education. I mean, until we reach full comprehension of the/an omniscient and omnipotent God like some people believe they have, we can’t know everything and there is no way for a single human engineered system to work for everyone. Everyone is special, and every live matter.

However, in our present American Democracy have established that race based preference is wrong. Doing something WRONG in the name of racial equality is dangerous for future endeavors for racial equality. There exist great disparity in quality of life for different races of people in America. There is a lot of work to do to get where we want to go. If we destroy our faith for this righteous dream of equality by engineering artificial inequalities based on race, there will be true inequality among us for ever thereafter.

We should commit ourselves to work to make everyone’s live better and matter more. But we should not do so based on race.

He just stepped down from a ferocious attack campaign debate. He can’t be covid19 positive. I know I know, bbc, cnn, msn, even the down future is down 500. But in my heart I feel this is fake news. It’s possible I am very very biased after watching The Comey Rule about the tenure of former FBI director Comey through his firing by President Trump. Seems like facts and fiction flow from one another very freely if the movie’s portrayal is to be believed.

I mean, okay, okay, I can believe that he has some symptoms. And I believe maybe he is a little warm. But I believe that it will cool down, by itself, you know, kind of like global warming will cure itself.

Sorry, it’s like, I guess after I think that I am starting to feel my apathy, his apathy. It’s like we don’t care enough about the matter. There is almost no way the White House will lose the President to covid19. Not America, no way. Most likely scenario, real covid19 or not, is he will emerge heroic and victorious over covid19.

I guess it does affect the election a little bit, can we really elect a President knowing he has a weakened constitution? okay yeah, I think maybe President Trump has Russia or China hack my head, I suddenly just saw him say: “I’m still smarter, quicker and better than sleepy Joe, even when I have covid19, I’m still better!”

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It’s Q3 of 2020. There was just that big fire in California. My family is like all the other families here, we went through a frantic phase of buying air purifiers.

Why is it that I am am not able to find an air purifier with an Auto-on feature? What I can find are three types of control:

manual-on-off or sensor-based control.

• Manual on/off switch (possibly with timer for auto-off)
• Sensor based controlling the fan speed
• Wifi-connected “smart” filter which mostly means you can adjust the last two settings on the phone.

Maybe the unit-economics of the business just doesn’t work out, but wouldn’t a feature that allows you to set a time of the day to turn filter on automatically be beneficial to all?

For the user, auto-on allows me to enjoy fresh air, and peace of mind, daily by turning it on during lunch (covid19) or before returning home (for normal working days) when I return, it turns down to low. I get fresh air. I get the comfort that the air is filtered. And honestly, it reassures me that air is clean irrespective of the accuracy of the sensors.

For the seller, this auto-on feature is a guaranteed win because it automatically consumes the filters. Replacement of filters is an income for the purifier maker. Quickening the consumption of filters means quickening the pace of money coming in to buy filters. This seems like a total no brainer to have.

So I am left absolutely dissatisfied and confused about these purported Capitalists running these companies. Why did no purifier company make a purifier that allows you to set it to turn on full blast during some time of each day?

It’s times like this that our mind begin running in wild orbits: perhaps it’s a conspiracy ? The government uses some kind of mind-control gas to control our productivity, and an air filter cleaning the air just before you return from the outside will counter the effectiveness of the mind-control gas.

Maybe the google and Amazon has “the secret resistance” employees that has arranged it so that the mammoth computer systems specifically give me poor search results because I’m a minority race(easily identifiable by name). Maybe that’s why I can’t find a product that make any sense.

Maybe these companies are all run by Soviet spies and made in China because they’re like a couple. FAKE Company!! Fake company !! They’re not trying to make money!! Fake companies are absolutely WORSE than FAKE NEWS!! I mean clean air is absolutely a vital infrastructure of the United States of America!! We absolutely have to stop these companies! They’re all spies!! They’re all foreign agents!!! They’re trying to keep Americans breathing sick air!

STOP THIS INSANITY!

Stop the bad air purifier companies!! Shut them down!! Shut them all down!! They’re all foreign entities trying to corrupt our god given gift: the right to a breadth of clean fresh air.

I just installed iOS 14. Aside from its Chinese keyboard being much jerkier than before the upgrade, and some new gmail quirks, everything seems great! Love the new modules you could pop onto the desktop.

One thing I did have trouble with was that I couldn’t connect to my router’s administrative interface any more… After a week of frustration I have finally discovered the fix. my router apparently checks IP address before allowing admin connection.

After you disable Private Address, the router will suddenly remember you and let you log back in again. Yippee!

Good luck with the next update, I hear it has a lot of new features.

It’s September 9th 2020. We experienced exceptionally dark skies today in the San Francisco Bay Area. New reports claim that it is due to multiple large wild fires burning all around us. It makes sense since we had 100 degree labor day weekend just a day before.

News is blabbering about The revelation that President Trump “down played covid19” very early this year because he didn’t want to cause panic. People are calling him a criminal for not taking care of the American people.

The air actually smells fine. At night, the sky is actually very bright, it might be due to reflection of human lights back down by the same smoke that kept the sun out during the day. The news reports claim the marine winds are blowing in at lower levels close to the ground. The net effect is that we can’t see any sun but the air touch us are actually quite fresh. Sadly, another side effect of this is that my 7KW Tesla solar system generated very little energy

My feelings are amazing considering the day. I have a slight inkling of what is to come if this doesn’t clear up in a few days. A more united California to be more extremely environmental for sure. Maybe more drastic laws/allocations to either fund some serious effing research or code changes affecting all companies in California. We already require all new constructions to have solar power. Maybe we can also require all buildings built since the 90’s to have solar. Heck, maybe even carbon emission allocations for all individuals. I can sell all my credits every year since I drove electric cars and use solar energy. It’s all good. There is nothing like human and society being propelled forward by disasters.

It also did occur to me that maybe if we can’t contain the fire that my house may burn. Or if there is so much burning that we may not have enough oxygen to survive. I seem to be content with the fact that we have no escape. If we run out of oxygen, the roads will be so congested that we will not make it out. (We did fill up gas tanks though, just in case.) My wife has superstitious believe about severe inclement atmospheric phenomenon foretelling large earthquakes—old Asian mythical believes. man, have I got a big problem if we had a real earthquake right now…

Watching episode S2S2 of the Boys. This show terrifies me. Storm front kills Kenji brutally, murmuring “Fucking Yellow Bastard!” I have to take issue with this for a moment here. I don’t care if the world is coming to an end, but this brutal expression of hatred by a white super hero is truly disturbing. I am losing sleep over this because it disturbs me. I don’t see a black person being kills “Fucking Nigger Bastard!” And honestly I am truly truly horrified. The sister of the dead “Super Villain” are Japanese siblings. She sees him die. She sees Stormfront glow with glee in front of the camera for killing his brother. Now, if anybody knows anything about Japanese culture… the things around honor and the acts of past Japanese people, killing, in the name of honor and possibly hatred… And, I, having Chinese culture in my upbringing, am keenly alarmed by hatred and vows to revenge, OF ANY KIND, in a person of Japanese descent. Not that I think anybody should hate or bow to revenge. But my mind floods with the past murders of Chinese committed by Japanese people. I just wish I didn’t see that, any of that. (I mean, also, can’t a Japanese do something other than fight teeth and nail in hatred?) White people do have super powers in America… the least of which is called an Executive Order. Japanese people are still people and they still do hate and value honor and revenge as part of their culture. Whomever this show is made for, I am horrified to know that someone found this amusing or entertaining. Any of these stories… a girl with super power can only fall for a useless boy… Replaying all the failure of Christian religions…. Women raising child of rape being forced to live with the rapist… The son of raping revealed to be more and more like his father… The dream or a promise that we may create a super race yet… and a Brit is the only one who could lead la résistance!? I mean what kind of mushroom tea was Jeff Bezos drinking when he approved this show for Amazon Original? Why make an even worse version of our history? I just don’t understand where our world is going any more. And I thought Silicone Valley was blatantly pointless and just plain mean and racist. This show really takes it to another level.

Okay, okay, so let’s say that this is a metaphors for the class struggle between the poor and rich Americans. And let’s suppose that it isn’t really recent immigrants versus naturally born Americans. The poor are the retched, drug dealing, dirty as heck, country-of-origin-diversified team whose only mission is to defeat the other team, and maybe right a few wrongs of the past. The rich class is the other team that has a few very very powerful white supe’s, and a few supporting minority supe’s. The rich team is the racist brutal bunch that can deliver policing brutality with zero consequence… oh wait, with consequence of more money and more fame. I guess I could be persuaded to see it this way, except I, my own person, cannot identify with either the racist rich class, or with the jobless drug dealing poor class. And anyways I feel if anybody interprets the show this way, it only stirs more anger and hatred fueling the volition to violence. I don’t see a parody Jesus Christ supe showing up mid-season and parts the ocean between the rich and the poor. I cannot imagine a supe with the power of peace. There is no way out of this mess except for violence and more violence—as far as I can imagine in the context of the show. Therefore the Boys S2 up to E4 is Famx30 for being absolutely agonizing to watch, despite superb execution and suitably choppy scripting for this genre.

The dust is starting to come down. The white flakes reminds me of dead people ashes after the aliens pops people with laser in the War of Worlds.

The red sky is almost identical color with the post-apocalyptic Gallifrey in Series 12 of Dr. Who fictions. Btw, Series 12 is so much better than 11… Maybe we should consider stop making these fictions. Maybe that way these fantastically violent delights will never come to be in our dearly beloved real world.

Never cruel or cowardly,

Never giving up, never giving in.

And if you ever be, always make amends.

– a Whoovian saying

Dr. Who S12 is a solid Famx1. Absolutely mesmerizing and everything flows very smoothly. And the Dr. is very much the Dr. even if there are many Dr.’s. The femininity is really settling in and maybe someday we wouldn’t even imagine this caring and knowledgeable and powerful alien could ever have been anything but a women. (I mean, you can look to some eastern deities for examples of some very caring individual who, upon enlightened ascension, eventually manifests to humans only in the female form despite their otherwise gender at their human birth. Since we know Dr. who scripting adopts elements and characteristics of myths of the east, this might be a very powerful storyline.) I am saddened that S13 might be her last as the previous several Dr.’s only endures 3 human years before regeneration. The sex change could use another two years at least… And I will say it here and now, I definitely will not watch Dr. Who inside an AI or Android. Absolutely not. Nope. Just won’t do it. .

Anyways, just posting some observations and concerns… this blog is geolocation in a few places, so someone may see it in case something happens to all of us.

Good luck everybody!

Biden just announced Harris as VP candidate.

My outlook for the future suddenly feel so bright. I even saw some serious work from one of the Democrats’ twitter account about getting Trump state—they are working!

But honestly, I had privately complained to friends that I don’t want to see an old white man elected president because he is most likely to beat Trump. Sleepy Joe scares me and it’s more than derisive nicknames from the Republicans. It would have seemed that America would rather have a mediocre white man but not one of the younger, stronger, minority candidate even has a chance. It would have seemed that we would choose a president for politics sake and not for merit and vision and leadership. I felt doomed. A victory would have been a loss.

But now that Harris is on the ticket, I feel a heavy weight lifted. I don’t have a rational thought about this—my rational thought is I’d preferred Yang or one of the black or latino man, or even sanders to really stir up changes. But I honestly feel happy that she’s on the ticket. That victorious loss just turned into a losses victory. And seriously, there are news paper suggesting Biden plans to die in office because he’s “choosing a VP who can step in any time.” This is so sad for so many reasons. But I’m feel the hope spring, and changes are already visible.

I fear that this race may be too racially charged. I don’t like the fact that I look at Joe Biden’s race when evaluating him for presidency. I don’t like the fact that the selection of Harris, an Asian-African-American, for VP brings a smile to my face. Race is way too much part of this decision. Politics is way too much part of this decision. I cannot even think about what’s good for myself, and much less for the country, because my mind is just so concerned with the color of the skin of the candidate.

Truth be told, this intense mental preoccupation with the singular concern of skin color (or minority status) is somewhat supernatural—it does not diminish naturally. It does not suffer from semantic satiation: where a word become blend when you repeat it 100 times and that repetition causes you to forget its meaning or pronunciation. This intense focus on race, it has endured for many years. Note that the election has brought it to the fore-mind, it is a sound that echoes without decay of amplitude between my ears.

One kind of wishes that there was more to it than that.

I signed up to the Democratic Party at Democrats.org. This is the official Democratic Party organization . It is Q3 of 2020 and the postmaster general, a donor to Trump, has just re-organized the USPS either in response to massive losses during coronavirus shutdowns or in preparation for the presidential vote-by-mail election coming up in a few months. One can’t imagine things becoming more partisan than this.

But staring at the multiple mails from democrats.org, I have a heavy heart. The DNC sends me 3-5 emails everyday. The subjects are either some one famous is asking you to donate (Biden, Obama, Albright, Warren, etc.) or that it was detected that Republican “outraised” the DNC. In both cases the first, second, third, and last paragraph asks for money donations.

I think, maybe I signed up for more than I bargained for. The political process I expected to experience includes things like discussing issues, or at least discussing the recovery from Trump presidency, how that will take place. For example, is Biden going to cancel everything Trump did by executive orders? Like what’s happening? Is the proposal to elect Democrats to every seat of government and undo all the laws that changes these years?

Some part of me feel that I don’t want to give money to the DNC. Their banal emails tells me exactly nothing to make me want to add another cent to this organization. When I did contribute to the Yang campaign, I felt there was a vision for change and progress. And I racked it up to inexperience the way Yang emailed twice a week saying “this is it, the last moment, if you don’t give money, I’m dead.” I thought that he did that in sincerity because he doesn’t know that the desperation does not garner more support. I thought maybe he doesn’t know how to influence people en masse because his professional experience had been in smaller enterprises of startups. I fought back vomit because I thought if we bear through it that there was a hope for more united and civilized and democratic future for America.

But now that I see that this kind of behavior is not just one faction, it is the whole rebellion organization, the whole resistance, the entire DNC are people like this. Even the experienced politicians believe that desperation win hearts, and hearts win money, and money wins the race.

I don’t know. Maybe I’ve been an outsider to Democrats until now. And maybe republicans talk to republicans like this too: “give money to me, that’s the only way I have to win.” It is horrifying to me to hear a leader say “the only way I can do my job is if you gave me money.” There is something wrong about this.

Why doesn’t the campaign show me the campaigning that took place? Maybe a massive zoom session, a rousing speech, something, anything. That shows me what the leader does with his hands and mouth. And brain. Something that shows me what he will do after being elected. Something that makes me want to give money other than restating “the only way to win a political campaign is money.” This Democrats believe is so sad! I mean even if that’s true, it’s not the sales pitch you want to make right? Don’t try to sell me a bed by saying “money is the only way you can get a good night sleep.” Tell me how soft it is and how firm it is and how it’ll even protect me from an earthquake when the house falls, tell me the big secret that the bed has unadvertised aroma that does the trick.

I don’t know… just anything that shows me these people care about doing what they are doing.

Like, we’d never survive an attack by an axis of evil with this kind of a party. (And I’m not saying there isn’t one right now, and I’m not comparing Trump or Xi to Hitler) but can you imagine Eisenhower or Churchill in their campaign speech saying: “give my campaign money or else Hitler will win!”

🤢😱

Watching this interesting show called Bulge Bracket on Amazon Prime. I have to admit, I know nothing about traditional fintech companies, so I cannot evaluate the realism of this show. As the self referential show asks, what is this Silicon Valley? The raunchy behavior is terrible terrible worst possible that you’d imagine maybe from the 1980’s? Or is this what 2020 looked like in Investment Banking?

The show is a little bit of an expectation jerker, season one ending with Bolo giving a reasonable pitch to his talented young female recruit to stay on board despite a finance-career making sexual proposition from potential client. This part sounds pretty real, well realistic for an Asian boss, solidly delivered: “I like how you work, I worked harder to get here, stay here and work harder for me and we’ll all be rich.”

But ultimately what really gets me is the HR scene. The HR executive immediately went on an offensive registering a complaint after the employee made legitimate complaints regarding behaviors of executives at the company and executives at other companies.

And I obviously do not speak from deep hatred of HR departments and some of their staff who choose to engage in this kind of activities for companies that I didn’t work for.

But when it does happen, it really hurts. If you think a female HR executive being marched around promoting company-wide support for female career development called BankHer would turn around and stonewall a newly hired female employee’s TWO sexual harassment complaints. Imagine how a lesser supported minority might feel when backstabbed like this at work.

But let me append that hate speech with a notice that I have friends who do HR, and they’re all wonderful people! Can’t find better specimen of human being than them. And seriously, there are those that have served me solidly and help to resolve conflicts and make the work place efficient and happy. Like these people are like instant friends. It’s their job to make help the teams work together and to bring to bear skill sets that vanilla management staff do not have. They don’t put a stupid black mark in your file so that they can have a reason to send you off. They don’t just register complaints so that they have work to show for. Like, sheesh, there are just such wonderful people out there when you think about what some other people do in their positions.

I wouldn’t expect the show to be renewed: 1.) too Asian, 2.) too real, 3.) that’s about it, like unless it descend into Silicone Valley territory, there isn’t that much more to what gets people out the door on Monday mornings.

And I should note the irony. The maker of the show apparently is an Asian living in California looking into the world of Finance through a spouse… I am an Asian watching their TV show. One does have to wonder if their perspective and my own may slant in the same way as our eyes do when observed by broader American audience. They feel so angry/nervous/strongly about it that they made a show on Amazon Prime. I feel so much anger/fear that I blog about it, but in reality, I don’t see anyone else making the same kind of big deal about it in these explicit ways. Or honestly, maybe I missed them because they usually portrait minority success and not so much failure. Maybe because the actress was Latino or black and I just didn’t feel it so vividly as I do watching Asians suffer. Maybe… idk, I really don’t see why non-Asians will be interested in this show—because maybe they have the same problem, the protagonist is not their in their race-social-economic stratus and they just don’t feel that strongly about it.

In my head, this is playing at FAMX.3

Recently, my children had a play date with her classmate from a private school in Palo Alto. We happen upon a day when the Oakland zoo was giving free admission. We could not even get close to the zoo even with our year-long membership already in hand. So we went for a hike at the bay shore of a nearby city instead.

After a short while, my 4-year-old was pushed off of a rapidly spinning merry go round by a fat Latino boy twice the size. He landed on all four. It wouldn’t have been so concerning if what happened before and after the fall did not happen. For twenty seconds before the fall, a giant man spun the merry go round rapidly so no kids could get on and off. During the 10 seconds prior, the fat boy used his butt to push my child off the merry go round. My child vigorously defended his position by holding on to the bars as if for dear life—crying. His hands and feet were the only parts of his body that are over the merry go round, “no! no! Stop!!” he screamed into the big fat boy’s back, but his other parts have been pushed beyond the play structure by then. He fell shortly after he lost his footing.

After the fall, I pick my child up to check for injuries. A older sister, or guardian, or mother of the child came to my back and says “it wasn’t his fault. I can apologize, I’m sorry your child fell, but it wasn’t my child’s fault!! I was watching the whole time and it was my child’s fault!!” I had to turn around to excuse myself from the rapid fire I-don’t-know-what-that-was so I could continue to check on my child and try to calm him from a crying fit. “I can apologize for what happened, but it wasn’t my child’s fault!” She insisted again to my back. Finally, I turned and said to her: “it’s okay, you don’t have to apologize, my fault for coming here where it is unsafe.” Walking out of the playground, I noticed that it was a Latino playground—most adults and kids are Latino. All things considered, I felt wise to have taken flight before more adults surrounded us. Admittedly, I was affected by a recent incident: while holding my child, I was attacked by old ladies in community public libraries across the bay. The old lady wished out loud that we, Chinese people, would leave. a few months ago I definitely fear for my children’s safety at that moment in that playground for many many many moments after.

I cannot fathom living in this city. The fact that it the kids had a little dustup is not of concern. (It looked horrifying, especially from my child’s perspective. But honestly, that’s life) The fact that a lot of Spanish is spoken here is not of concern. The fact that there are a lot of crimes in this city, as reported by online providers, is not the problem. The fact that the guardian acted that way so nervously made me just so anxious. Was I supposed to sue her? Why is she so defensive? Why did she apologize disclaiming remorse and wrongdoing? Is it a thing now that everyone knows Asians love to demand apology irrespective of giver’s true attitude and intentions? I do not want to call home a city in which I have to habitually engage in liability jousting on the children’s playground! I barely descended into this type of thing at work: obsessively making clandestine observations and recording them at work in preparation for formally charging or responding to charges of coworkers with impropriety: When I did, I did it well, why it had to be done—I kept log of everything significant that transpired, everything from massively complicated “concerning multi-organization technical issues with ‘controversial’ implications” to coworkers chitchatting about collecting human teeth as hobby. For those nightmarish months I documented the concerns I had with each issue and tried to document my own strenuous and timely efforts that in part absolve me of responsibility for things beyond my control. I was unhappy and extremely uncomfortable with that aspect of workplace culture. This city, has so far exhibited a culture that I cannot live with.

I hate to make stereotypical statements, but in present day Trumpverse, scribere cogitationes meas: don’t these people smoke weed, and wasn’t weed supposed to calm them down? Her reaction was so very prompt and rehearsed. Even this poor city along the bay seems to harbor highly litigious residents who are hyper-vigilant even on the children’s’ playground.

I do applaud myself, not for being a retard not removing my child from danger earlier, but for giving my child a chance to learn to defend himself early in life. It’s far to late for myself to gain the self-righteousness/respect, determination and physique to stand up to a playground bully and their guardians, but it is not too late for my children.

When I observe my own children playing with family of significantly better financial and social situation(than us) I observe similar things. My children become the more unruly party. Their actions leads to situations that even I feel are unsafe. They are often the aggressor in the taking of toys or play spot. I feel like apologizing for nasty situations. But their playmates parents are able to maintain a cool composure. They seem to be very assured that the situation we brought will pass and that their children will endure without physically or mental corruption. They do not run away from my family as I did from that playground and that city. Their children seem to be able to deal with friends who are recalcitrant and behave dangerously—and they play together peacefully without much apparent effort. “That’s alright.” is the perpetual response we came to rely on from these friends. It almost seems that they can sense my anxiety about the matter and are trying to comfort me!

Therefore, I shall conclude about the matter here with that reassuring expression of friendship and support:

That’s alright!

Apologies for any race, class or gender based bias in my expressions. If you perceive any such display in this blog, it is not my fault. Any mention of events of employment are not in anyway related to a real company that I worked for. I disclaim that I’m writing about things that actually happened. Person and events described herein do not correspond to real people or events that actually transpired.

There is a macrocosm to this encounter. California 2020 proposition 16 is a ballot measure to overturn ‘96 proposition 209 effectively removing laws forbidding race based discrimination by the State of California including higher education institutions. I think of my helpless child going to college and graduate school some day, or perhaps he wants to service the state from private sector, he might be butted off of the merry go round of an institution. He might have to holding on for dear life in tears but essentially very poorly positioned and equipped to play on a public structure. In my mind, the great state of California should be a civilized institution where, metaphorically speaking, bigger butts, chest, and other members should not determine inclusion and success—it is arbitrary and capricious to legalize race based discrimination. There just are wrong ways to do things and race based discrimination is simply wrong. And if lady Justice will be standing behind me yelling “He’s not doing anything wrong!” What will be my recourse then? What will be left of our pride in our most sacred believes about America and about California? What will be left of our livelihood? Maybe then, the popular adage will be right: “go back to where you came from!”