It’s Q3 of 2020. There was just that big fire in California. My family is like all the other families here, we went through a frantic phase of buying air purifiers.

Why is it that I am am not able to find an air purifier with an Auto-on feature? What I can find are three types of control:

manual-on-off or sensor-based control.

• Manual on/off switch (possibly with timer for auto-off)
• Sensor based controlling the fan speed
• Wifi-connected “smart” filter which mostly means you can adjust the last two settings on the phone.

Maybe the unit-economics of the business just doesn’t work out, but wouldn’t a feature that allows you to set a time of the day to turn filter on automatically be beneficial to all?

For the user, auto-on allows me to enjoy fresh air, and peace of mind, daily by turning it on during lunch (covid19) or before returning home (for normal working days) when I return, it turns down to low. I get fresh air. I get the comfort that the air is filtered. And honestly, it reassures me that air is clean irrespective of the accuracy of the sensors.

For the seller, this auto-on feature is a guaranteed win because it automatically consumes the filters. Replacement of filters is an income for the purifier maker. Quickening the consumption of filters means quickening the pace of money coming in to buy filters. This seems like a total no brainer to have.

So I am left absolutely dissatisfied and confused about these purported Capitalists running these companies. Why did no purifier company make a purifier that allows you to set it to turn on full blast during some time of each day?

It’s times like this that our mind begin running in wild orbits: perhaps it’s a conspiracy ? The government uses some kind of mind-control gas to control our productivity, and an air filter cleaning the air just before you return from the outside will counter the effectiveness of the mind-control gas.

Maybe the google and Amazon has “the secret resistance” employees that has arranged it so that the mammoth computer systems specifically give me poor search results because I’m a minority race(easily identifiable by name). Maybe that’s why I can’t find a product that make any sense.

Maybe these companies are all run by Soviet spies and made in China because they’re like a couple. FAKE Company!! Fake company !! They’re not trying to make money!! Fake companies are absolutely WORSE than FAKE NEWS!! I mean clean air is absolutely a vital infrastructure of the United States of America!! We absolutely have to stop these companies! They’re all spies!! They’re all foreign agents!!! They’re trying to keep Americans breathing sick air!

STOP THIS INSANITY!

Stop the bad air purifier companies!! Shut them down!! Shut them all down!! They’re all foreign entities trying to corrupt our god given gift: the right to a breadth of clean fresh air.