anger management…

I took my Dad hiking this past weekend. To be precise, we hiked Mission Peak from 1pm to 6pm February 5th, 2011. This was still a period of celebration for all Chinese people as part of a multi-millennial tradition in China.

We got yelled at by a state ranger for stepping on some grass that we were not supposed to step on. This person of unidentifiable genetic heritage, took a truck, half way up the mountain, got out in his skin tight spandex bike shorts and proceeded to yell at us for the next 5 minutes saying:

“is this old man your father? Well, if he is then he sure didn’t teach you very well to be a good person.. You stepping on that grass is like you walking into those people’s backyard (pointing at some expensive mansions near the trail)”

Well, he insulted my father by saying he is old. Then he insulted me by insulting my father and saying that he didn’t teach me well–a Chinese insult.

I looked at him, up an down, carefully. His face shows that he is an adult, however his eagerness to insult us using a Chinese insult, during Chinese new years celebration, over a very minor matter, which he could have equally well stated in a much more calm voice, indicates to me that he is a new recruit into the ranger service. His insults of parents, the tone reminds me of hazing shown in military school, an insult surely foreign to the speaker, is given for the express purpose of insulting us.

Actually, the same thing happened to me a few days early. A coworker yelled at me for very little reason that made a lot of people very uncomfortable, and indeed embarrassed me the most because the people who I cared about was right by my side when this happened. I was made to look very bad.

This was one of the reasons why a resolution was passed to address that half of the problem. A second consideration, now that I’ve seen additional insults, is the consideration of karma.

Have I caused some one, in some way, a great deal of annoyance? discomfort? anger? hatred? that has ben pent up for a long time such that it is released so rapidly and with very very little supporting context to justify such explosive outburst…

I feel that I must have done something wrong along the way some where that is making all this happen.

What ever it was, I hope there is something out there that can help me ameliorate for it. Because I don’t like to be yelled at, and I don’t know what will happen next time, when pent up rage is released, I mean, maybe next time he’ll pull out a baton and wack my dad over the head with it, and his partner (driver of that truck) will come and run us over with his rusty old truck. They might go to jail, but that does not pay for the damage that they will have done unto us. Or worse, maybe next time I will strike the offender? My hands, which are so weak and feeble will surely crumple in a furious clash of rage…

fingers crossed,
wood knocked,
and big smile on the face… tomorrow is going to be a better day…

happy thoughts….

I feel pretty,
Oh, so pretty,
I feel pretty and witty and bright!
And I pity
Any guy who isn’t me tonight…


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