Mail Order Wife

I saw a movie on hulu today about Mail order Brides

For starters, the lady that they chose to play the Chinese whore Eugenia Yuan’s(, actually an ABC, picture, quite beautiful, reminds me of HK movie stars and speaks awesome Mandarin Chinese–unlike many real HK movie stars who couldn’t be bothered to learn it for hundreds of millions of dollars…

It’s sad though, Zhang ziyi (the lead in Memoirs of a Geisha) once said that Chinese female stars can only play whores in America, and indeed, this talented female Chinese movie star stars as a conniving sex fiend. Her face tells me of her uncompromising strong personality and knowledge of her Chinese heritage beyond her genetics, but her character, .. ahh, her character ring so bad and so real! I don’t know if it’s typical for mail order brides from Burma to speak very good Mandarin, but I was very drawn by her Chinese–strident, confident, intoned correctly, surely a native Chinese speaker. Apparently she’s a language buff who also speaks Spanish and Russian… Could have played a Russian mail order bride…

Her name 原丽淇 sounds like her character’s name as she first appear, yuan2li4chi2, so lichi==leeecheee.

Personally, I’ve been swindled out of a lot of hard earned cash by Chinese girls. Sometimes it’s a wad of cash, sometimes it’s small bits of meal and gifts. well, it’s not really that much money, but the circumstances are especially disgusting (I feel disgusted, not that the mutual situation is disgusting, ugh, just pause your imagination for a second here…), the circumstances had been at my loss in the same way that the characters of this movie had been at loss financially, except I didn’t get to make a movie or take revenge, or the girl as hot, but that’s beyond the point.

And I have definitely personally experienced Chinese girls turn from innocent helpless servants barely surfacing from millenniums of cultural oppression and physical cruelty to suddenly become tigresses in heat for money, power, and other men, and then suddenly cools to absolute zero when confronted with the man’s true feelings. It’s not too far from what the movie shows. (Her marriage to Adrian is a modern metaphor of Chinese women’s past. Her lack of language and social skills represents her Chinese female heritage; her repeated attempts to get married–fighting for her right to be in America where she has rights; her marrying Andie is her success in gaining her freedom and respect; her attempts to put pigs in Addie’s apartment despite his insistence of moderation is metaphor for her struggle for power in the relationship, and finally, she use her reproductive right and theoretical biological clock, albeit understandable, is quite an unwieldily unruly beast hungering for absolute dominance!!)

sigh….. I hate this movies. I so don’t want to hate the movie like he doesn’t want to love her, accidentally falling into a shallow pit of slutty slushy muddy mix of bodily fluids, so bad but borderline not that bad but so so bad!!!

The story telling is so endearing, the narrative is so gripping, the actors are so talented. All are wasted on such ugly side of the Chinese and the American. I hate her for such a great performance, with the same passion Andie loved her, with perverse curiosity, tasteless initiation, so pointless, stretched out beyond normal necessity and human patience (the character’s normal human patience, not the viewer’s normal human patience), and concludes with WTF? who? what baseball? what did I miss?

Why did it end on a high note celebrating a baseball player?

I don’t want to criticize America because Baseball has to be one of the gayest games there are on TV, guys scratching balls. Important signals being signaled right in front of the crotch for another guy to pay attention.

Homosexual realties aside, the mention of baseball, the toasting and drinking of beer, by a group of cooperating men, brings back a sense of normalcy… I felt comforted by the fact that the women and all that she represented was gone. In t
he circle of men there was a sense of closure, feelings of trust, camaraderie, accomplishment, clarity, safety and merriment.

Does this symbolize the success of America in defending the American ways and the forced return of ugly Chinese people and their culture to their homeland of Burma? The Americans united to rid the country of foreign devils’ evil and unrighteous influences.

The portrayal is so polar that after the film completed, I did not miss her boobs, and that handsome face, those sexy legs after the film’s portrayal of her. Too real… I mean Wilhelmina(Ugly Betty) is still likable, Kathryn (Cruel Intentions), Angelina Fox ( Wanted), Mystique (Xmen), Michelle Cat Women (Batman), Sharon Stone(Basic Instinct), …. err, plenty of examples of female villainy… But I felt like I was thoroughly rid of her imagery in my mind, just as Andie and Adrian were rid of their desire for her.

Sad! I hate the movie even more now that I blog about it…

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