I found some news articles about dilbert being dropped by many news papers and magazines due to its creator expressing intolerance of black people because he perceived that black people expressed intolerance of “being white is ok”. Apparently that phrase in quotes is considered racist.

I fear that I am too far removed from the core of this conversation to express any meaningful concern about liberal use of our shared languages. Everyone should feel comfortable in their own skin if we just read the words of the blog.

But honestly, I do think white humans are humans too. In all senses of the world. Recently, I discovered that my child’s teacher in elementary school had been giving them very liberal materials as reading material—to practice reading on. This particular fact is not terribly disturbing. What is disturbing is that this one particular assignment is doubled up so that both page of the magazine article fits on one side of 11.5/8” paper. I finally noticed these reading assignments because my child had slight deficiency in her reading skills. I put down a few rulers and measured the size of the characters. They were very small. Sub-millimeter letters most certainly.

I contacted the teacher without thinking and she responded very supportively and promise to print this assignment larger. Of course all these transpired before the context—where and when—of this happening came into focus for me. This is post first peak of Black Lives Matter movement. Senses are raw.

The text harped on the damages caused by white settlers’ disregard for human and environment. It talked about white people keeping black people from schools and procreation… I think if I were a normal human being and I read about my ancestors systematically harming some people—for Chinese men there’s the foot binding of Chinese women. If my wife and daughter spoke to me daily or even once weekly about how bad men were to women. I don’t think I would be very happy about it. I mean I can hardly stand them talking about one single unwashed dishes.

I would print that assignment in small print too. I don’t want to be reminded of bad acts. I don’t want to be placed into a role or a category or the profile of bad people. I don’t want people to suspect me because of an unchangeable attribute that I came to the world with.

So…. It is understandable even if her teacher small-printed the reading assignment on purpose. It could also be that where I am in NorCal there are really a whole school district full of closest conservatives. I can’t believe I would be the only parent out of a class of 30 to notice this particular assignment being small print every week. Maybe other families doesn’t really care about past wrongs in civil liberty ?

This is not to say I don’t want to prevent discrimination or holocaust in the future. Never again should they occur. But our world must really come to a resolution of this matter in all honesty instead of a billion layer pancake of all kinds of separate but largely equal slices…

Ps I am presently reading the first part of the book Palo Alto. It is hard to imagine being white and being so bitter about one’s past. A past that one’s ancestors took great pride in. A small glimmer of insanity still flashes through my mind ones a while. Visiting the library today, I suddenly experienced a hard ringing in my right ear so much so that I stopped mid-stride and covered my ears. Is it outrageous for me to suspect that white people installed machines in library so that they can blast people they don’t like with Sonic rays to chase them out? Or maybe they’ll put a tumor in my head for blogging about this to dispel my misgivings as cancerous brain farts. Is it exceedingly imaginative of me to think this? I don’t think so after reading Palo Alto. Minorities have demonstrated that a few of them are outstanding and contribute greatly to the world. But really, I don’t know if everyone is convinced that minority is necessary. I seem to believe that people white Starr and Terman’s believes in eugenics, racial purity etc. are still quite real and quite in power today. So much so that I sometimes look for the sonic projectors and imagine that they’re inside steel beams… sigh. Is it selfish to wish it is not a tumor that causes my world?